✦ The Modern Heiress

Raised by a woman, threatened by women, confused by women who don’t need him. The math never added up and neither did his manhood.

I met a man who was, by all means, average, insensitive, emotionally stunted, and not even good-looking. But what struck me most wasn’t his lack of appeal. It was the arrogance. The delusional belief that he was entitled to admiration, to praise, to women, despite offering the bare minimum, if anything at all.

He had that incel-coded energy:
The kind that resents women for not worshipping him.
The kind that mistakes bitterness for masculinity.
The kind that thinks dominance = value.

And here’s the plot twist: I found out he was raised by a single mother.

You’d think a man raised by a woman would grow up with more emotional literacy. More empathy. More respect. But no. Somewhere along the way, he took his origin story and twisted it into superiority.

As if being raised by a woman gave him a free pass to disrespect other women. As if the world owed him something for his existence alone.

What’s worse? He witnessed strength firsthand. A woman who carried double the weight, made hard choices, kept the lights on, and still showed up for him. But instead of honoring that strength, he resents it.

Deep down, he’s mad that a woman had to play both roles because it made him feel powerless. And that bruised ego? It festers into quiet misogyny disguised as “standards.” He doesn’t hate women because they’re weak.

He hates them because deep down, he knows they’re stronger.

The Psychology Behind Masculinity Fragility

Let’s cut the ribbon on the truth: this isn’t just one guy’s bad attitude, it’s an inherited script of emotional bankruptcy wrapped in faux confidence.

According to Absent Fathers, Lost Sons, men raised without emotionally present fathers often grow up performing masculinity, not embodying it. Their egos? Made of glass. Their self-worth? Built on quicksand. Daddy was absent, and in his silence, he passed down confusion, not confidence.

As Guy Corneau put it, “a father’s silence stifles a son’s becoming.” So instead of learning to feel, they learn to fear feeling. Vulnerability becomes weakness. Intimacy becomes threat. Power becomes performance (Corneau, 1991).

Corneau, G. (1991), Absent Fathers, Lost Sons: The Search for Masculinity Identity, SoBrief

Then comes the plot twist: a mother who does it all.
She’s the backbone, the shelter, the light bill payer and the emotional compass. But instead of revering her strength, he resents it.

Why? Because her competence highlights his inadequacy. Her leadership reminds him of the authority he never claimed. And that burns.

Oli Anderson explains it best: when men don’t process their emotional absence, they don’t just avoid healing, they go to war with any woman who reminds them of the mirror they refuse to face.

Anderson, O., ‘Daddy’ Issues in Men: The Hidden Shame that Men Carry and How it Holds Them Back from Real Life, Oli Anderson.

how to spot an incel with a god complex (before he wastes your time)

So what happens?

They become emotionally evasive. They police female power. They confuse dominance with worthiness. And worst of all, they can’t tell the difference between a partner and a prop. This is masculinity fragility in full glam: tender egos dressed up as “standards,” weaponized detachment worn like cologne, and misogyny passed off as just “preference.”

The irony? He played the nice guy well. Polite. Soft-spoken. Almost humble. But only until he sensed a challenge, until I stopped making myself smaller to let him feel bigger. As soon as he saw me as competition, his mask cracked. His fragility leaked through sarcasm, passive-aggression, and unsolicited critiques dressed up as concern. He couldn’t handle the idea that a woman could outpace him, outshine him, or simply not need him.

And worst of all? He acted like he was the victim of female rejection when in reality, he was the architect of his own isolation. This is the type of man who fears emotionally powerful women because he cannot manipulate them.

Truth bomb: If your masculinity shatters the moment a woman leads the room, it was never masculine to begin with.

Director’s note:

PSA: Just because he was raised by a woman doesn’t mean he understands how to value one.

the ego collapse: when your power ends their performance

In the beginning, they present themselves as kind. Supportive “Different.” They listen just enough, compliment just enough, mimic emotional depth just enough to pass as evolved. But the moment you stop orbiting them and start standing in your own gravity, they fracture. And that’s when the mask slips.

The truth is, these men don’t hate all women. They hate women who no longer need to be chosen. They hate women who choose themselves. Because if you’re no longer waiting for their approval, their whole script collapses. And when you glow without their spotlight, their relevance dims.

So they lash out, passive jabs, dismissive tones, subtle sabotage.
But remember: their rage isn’t power. It’s panic. You didn’t break them. You just reminded them they were never whole to begin with. So let them retreat into the shadows of their own discomfort. You were never meant to dim your light to soothe someone else’s unprocessed father wound.

Let them project.
Let them spiral.
Let them exit.

Because no matter how soft your heart, you were never meant to be someone’s emotional crutch in designer heels.

–

Your passive-aggressive princess,
Madam Alias Solis
Writer, The Modern Heiress