✦ The Modern Heiress

When micromanagement becomes a mirror of internalized misogyny.

We often expect misogyny to wear a masculine face, bold, dismissive, entitled. But sometimes, it arrives dressed in professionalism, wrapped in polite tones, and delivered by another woman. One who was supposed to be a mentor. One who knew better but chose to sabotage instead of support.

I was leading a collaborative project with limited guidance, short timelines, and high expectations. As a part-time student managing both my studies and a business outside the classroom, I came prepared with real-world skills. But instead of encouragement, I met obstruction. My female supervisor, whose role was to facilitate, became the biggest roadblock.

She controlled every minor detail, from document formatting to font choices, while avoiding the actual responsibilities that affected the project’s success. She delayed approvals, ignored early submissions, reassigned her own duties to me, and contradicted herself without accountability. Her tone when speaking to me was clipped, cold, and often condescending, especially in contrast to how warmly she treated the men. The message was clear: the more competent I became, the more threatening I was to her authority.

At first, I was confused. Why would a woman in leadership undermine another woman trying to rise? That’s when I recognized the pattern, what I now understand as internalized misogyny. As L. Beatrice writes in her article “Is It Internalized Misogyny Or Are We Women Just More Judgy?”, “when women are socialized to constantly compete, they begin to see each other as threats instead of allies” (L. Beatrice, Medium). This competition shows up in subtle sabotage, quiet envy, and clipped tones disguised as professionalism. I wasn’t imagining the tension. I was navigating a quiet war where my voice was being tested, not supported.

But I did not break. I stopped taking her scrutiny personally and started seeing it strategically. I documented everything. I anticipated chaos. I managed quietly and solved problems that weren’t even mine to fix. She may have micromanaged the font size, but I managed the outcome. When the results spoke for themselves, her resistance only exposed her insecurity.

Micromanagement, especially when fueled by fear of another woman’s confidence, isn’t leadership. It’s projection. What I learned is this: I don’t need the approval of those who feel threatened by my strength. I don’t fight for their validation. I build my own legacy. Not every woman is a sister. But every woman who tries to dim your light reminds you how bright you truly are.

To the women who’ve been underestimated, doubted, micromanaged, and subtly sabotaged, remember this. You’re not too much. You’re just in the wrong room. Or maybe, you’re exactly where you’re meant to be. You are there to lead by example and to never become what tried to silence you.

_

Your unapologetically unavailable muse,
Madam Alias Solis
Writer, The Modern Heiress